Jett’s funeral

Some of you were probably wondering whether this blog would continue. It will. But, as you might imagine, I have been rather busy these past two weeks. I want to document it all, as much for my own therapy as to inform you.

Immediately following Jett’s death I contacted a funeral home in Rockport MA (where she would be buried) and they contacted a funeral home in Fort Myers to arrange transport of the body. Her body would be embalmed in Fort Myers, then flown to Massachusetts.

The local funeral home arrived promptly and removed her body by 6pm, well befor Jett’s twin sons arrived at 9pm. They were too late to be there when she passed, but were able to view her body the next day, Friday, after she had been embalmed. I am glad that they did not see her in her bed; she looked much better in the funeral home. It was a very sad few moments, seeing her lifeless body in the company of her grieving sons.

I decided that I wanted to drive the truck to Massachusetts, to clean out the storage unit after the funeral. Her sons agreed to accompany me. Rusty, too. I was grateful for the company. And with three drivers we were able to drive straight through. We left at 9am Saturday and arrived in Alexandria VA at 1am – a 16-hour drive, of which I drove maybe 5 hours. Her sons handled the rest.

It would have been a 15-hour drive had it not been for a wrong turn and getting stuck at a railroad crossing of the world’s longest train. I estimated it to be over 200 cars long.

I stayed in Alexandria two nights, to get “some pins back in my box” as Jett would say. Rusty stayed in Alexandria when I drove to Worcester MA on Monday, to spend the night with Jett’s brother Ray and his wife Kim, an ordained Methodist minister who married us and who agreed to officiate at the grave.

Tuesday was spent making final arrangements. I drove to the Greely Funeral Home in Gloucester MA to pick out a casket (a very nice solid pecan one) and a crypt, select mass cards, approve the obituary and pay for the whole thing (just over $12K – very reasonable, I think, given that the body had to be flown up from Florida).

I then went to the cemetery in Rockport to take a photo of Jett’s headstone, took that to the monument office to arrange for engraving, then back to Gloucester to find a venue for the after-burial luncheon. My first choice was booked, but I found an acceptable alternative, at Oliver’s Harbor Restaurant. I wanted an outdoor space, for increased safety during the pandemic. What they had was a patio area that had been enclosed with plastic, with plexiglass partitions between the tables. Having the luncheon would be a risk, but I felt it was a risk I had to take.

I stayed with Jett’s sister Christine Tuesday through Friday. Wednesday was devoted to shopping (I needed a better shirt) and working on the eulogy. She and I drove together to the viewing Thursday night. It was my first view of Jett in her funeral dress, with makeup applied and I have to say that she looked wonderful. Jett would have approved. She didn’t look gaunt and seemed at peace. Lovely, really. Kudos to Greely’s.

One concern I had about the viewing was grandson Zachary. He was very close to Jett and had never seen a dead person in an open casket. I thought he might freak out but he was very comfortable. He had no qualms about holding Jett’s hand. It was very touching.

Besides family and a few close friends that I had called, we were visited by several people from the Rockport area who knew Jett from long ago. Several others showed up the following day, at the graveside, in response to the published obituary.

One detail that I settled on Monday was the set of pallbearers. The obvious choices were her sons in front and her brother Raymond and I at the back. But who in the middle? As I was driving, the answer struck me like a slap on the face: her sister Christine and her niece Allison. Allison and Jett were very close. Allison said Jett was a “second mother” to her.

As it turns out, a seventh pallbearer was added at the last moment: my son Frank. I was grateful that he wanted to participate, as a sign of respect.

The hour before the procession was devoted to eulogies and remembrances, all of which were very touching. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. In addition to the roughly 20 people there, two of Jett’s nephews – Christine’s sons – were able to see the event remotely via Zoom.

I gave the final eulogy. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I choked up many times and had a hard time reading my notes through my tears. I will publish the eulogy tomorrow.

The procession went very smoothly, led by our big brown diesel dually. I had originally considered riding with someone else, but then realized how totally appropriate it would be to have our big truck leading the way. This is the vehicle in which Jett rode over 40,000 miles, visiting all “lower 48” states.

It was a lovely day. The graveside ceremony was brief and solemn. 18 of us then proceeded to the restaurant. I was originally planning on providing wine and beer for a toast, but when the time came I decided that the only appropriate toast had been given, by me, at dinner Thursday night after the viewing: “I wish you were here.”

I was also originally planning on having only appetizers, but Christine insisted on a full luncheon with her picking up the tab. The food was good, the service was excellent and there was even some laughter. It was a fine end to a very sad couple of days. Thank you, Christine.

I stayed with Christine Friday night, then traveled to the storage unit on Saturday, cleaned it out and terminated the contract, then stayed with Ray and Kim Saturday night. I departed early Sunday and took a long, slow trip to Alexandria (4 accident delays!) where I had an excellent homecooked meal.

On Monday Rusty and I departed and traveled to Knoxville TN where I stayed two nights with my old college roommate and his wife. On Wednesday we departed Knoxville, intending to travel to Atlanta. But I encountered torrential rain, thanks to Hurricane Zeta, and stopped in Chattanooga TN for the night. By Thursday morning the storm had passed and I decided to push through to Fort Myers – a 10-hour drive. We arrived around 6pm Thursday night.

Over 3,500 truck miles and no problems. A minor miracle. I am grateful because I really was not emotionally ready to deal with a truck breakdown.

Now I begin my Jett-free life. I am not eager.