Two days before returning to the US from Spain, I received the following email (names redacted to maintain anonymity):
RE: Cease and Desist from Contact/Communication/Harrassment
Dear [Sparky]:
Please be advised that I represent [Ooma]. [Ooma] has informed me that you continue to harass her even though she has ended her dating relationship with you. [Ooma] has informed me that since that time, and since she has blocked your telephone number and blocked you on her social media accounts, you have made a number of harassing and abusive e-mails and letters and continue to harass her through social media (including but not limited to posting defamatory statements about [Ooma] on Facebook and your personal blog, and Facebook messaging [Ooma]’s known associates).
Please be advised that you are to immediately cease and desist from making any further attempts to contact [Ooma] directly or indirectly. Indirect contact now includes communicating or sending messages to [Ooma]. Direct and/or indirect contact also includes, but is not limited to, phone calls, voicemails, letters, packages, emails, text messages, social media invitations, blog posts and/or social media posts to or about [Ooma]. [Ooma] also does not want your family members, friends, co-workers, or acquaintances to try to contact her, or to contact her relatives, friends, co-workers or acquaintances to inquire about her, convey messages to her or make derogatory/defamatory comments about her.
[Ooma] does not want you to follow her or show up at her home or places that you know she frequents. You are also not to approach her vehicle. Any subsequent attempts will be considered voluntary, malicious, harassing, stalking and/or cyberstalking as they serve no legitimate purpose and cause her considerable emotional distress.
I am aware that you and [Ooma] are not married, have no children born of or adopted in your relationship and have had no business dealings. If you feel you have any legal claims, any future communication regarding these claims need to go through formal legal channels [e.g. attorneys, court pleadings, court proceedings such as case management, mediation, hearings and/or trial (again, not any third parties or certified mail from you)], and does not excuse your compliance with this formal cease and desist demand.
Nothing in this letter constitutes legal advice and you are free to consult with a lawyer. In the event that you fail to comply with this demand, [Ooma] has been advised of her legal right to zealously pursue any and all remedies available under the law, including but not limited to a petition for injunction for protection against stalking and harassment. Your respect for and cooperation with this demand is mandatory.
This cease and desist demand is not an open invitation for you to communicate with me as I am NOT representing [Ooma] in any other matter other than her legal interest and right to be free of any further stalking and harassment. Any subsequent communications with me or my office will go unanswered. I have nothing further to discuss with you other than to reiterate [Ooma]’s clear demand that you stop all further communication with her or about her.
PLEASE GOVERN YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY
Sincerely,
[Ooma’s lawyer]
So the woman who betrayed my trust, stole my photographs, blackmailed me, sent me a long series of abusive and harassing text messages, physically assaulted me twice, got me banned from the Buckingham Blues Bar, lied to me every day we were together and tried to get a restraining order for stalking that was so muddled and poorly written that I had to ask the clerk what the complaint was for is accusing ME of harassing HER. Seems like a case of “blaming the victim.”
Let me state here, categorically, that I have NEVER stalked her. I also don’t believe the few times I communicated with her were harassing. I wasn’t pleasant, but I wasn’t abusive. So I am being asked to cease doing something I have never done. How do I do that?
I think it is ironic that by publishing this email I am probably violating the demand as I think it will be pretty clear to anyone reading it that Ooma is not a nice person. She certainly is not the “good woman” she claims to be.
As for communicating with her friends and family… I will do so when I need to communicate with them. It won’t be to harass or denigrate Ooma, but there might well be other valid reasons for me to communicate with them.
As for my friends and family communicating with her… I will neither encourage nor discourage them from communicating with Ooma. If she has a problem with them, she should deal with them.
I also have no intention of changing my behavior to avoid places that I know she frequents. That would include all of downtown Fort Myers. It is my city too.
If I were to say anything to Ooma – which I won’t, of course, since I have been asked so nicely to refrain from communicating with her – I would say that the best way to keep me from saying bad things about her is for her to stop doing bad things to me.
Cease and desist
Two days before returning to the US from Spain, I received the following email (names redacted to maintain anonymity):
RE: Cease and Desist from Contact/Communication/Harrassment
Dear [Sparky]:
Please be advised that I represent [Ooma]. [Ooma] has informed me that you continue to harass her even though she has ended her dating relationship with you. [Ooma] has informed me that since that time, and since she has blocked your telephone number and blocked you on her social media accounts, you have made a number of harassing and abusive e-mails and letters and continue to harass her through social media (including but not limited to posting defamatory statements about [Ooma] on Facebook and your personal blog, and Facebook messaging [Ooma]’s known associates).
Please be advised that you are to immediately cease and desist from making any further attempts to contact [Ooma] directly or indirectly. Indirect contact now includes communicating or sending messages to [Ooma]. Direct and/or indirect contact also includes, but is not limited to, phone calls, voicemails, letters, packages, emails, text messages, social media invitations, blog posts and/or social media posts to or about [Ooma]. [Ooma] also does not want your family members, friends, co-workers, or acquaintances to try to contact her, or to contact her relatives, friends, co-workers or acquaintances to inquire about her, convey messages to her or make derogatory/defamatory comments about her.
[Ooma] does not want you to follow her or show up at her home or places that you know she frequents. You are also not to approach her vehicle. Any subsequent attempts will be considered voluntary, malicious, harassing, stalking and/or cyberstalking as they serve no legitimate purpose and cause her considerable emotional distress.
I am aware that you and [Ooma] are not married, have no children born of or adopted in your relationship and have had no business dealings. If you feel you have any legal claims, any future communication regarding these claims need to go through formal legal channels [e.g. attorneys, court pleadings, court proceedings such as case management, mediation, hearings and/or trial (again, not any third parties or certified mail from you)], and does not excuse your compliance with this formal cease and desist demand.
Nothing in this letter constitutes legal advice and you are free to consult with a lawyer. In the event that you fail to comply with this demand, [Ooma] has been advised of her legal right to zealously pursue any and all remedies available under the law, including but not limited to a petition for injunction for protection against stalking and harassment. Your respect for and cooperation with this demand is mandatory.
This cease and desist demand is not an open invitation for you to communicate with me as I am NOT representing [Ooma] in any other matter other than her legal interest and right to be free of any further stalking and harassment. Any subsequent communications with me or my office will go unanswered. I have nothing further to discuss with you other than to reiterate [Ooma]’s clear demand that you stop all further communication with her or about her.
PLEASE GOVERN YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY
Sincerely,
[Ooma’s lawyer]
So the woman who betrayed my trust, stole my photographs, blackmailed me, sent me a long series of abusive and harassing text messages, physically assaulted me twice, got me banned from the Buckingham Blues Bar, lied to me every day we were together and tried to get a restraining order for stalking that was so muddled and poorly written that I had to ask the clerk what the complaint was for is accusing ME of harassing HER. Seems like a case of “blaming the victim.”
Let me state here, categorically, that I have NEVER stalked her. I also don’t believe the few times I communicated with her were harassing. I wasn’t pleasant, but I wasn’t abusive. So I am being asked to cease doing something I have never done. How do I do that?
I think it is ironic that by publishing this email I am probably violating the demand as I think it will be pretty clear to anyone reading it that Ooma is not a nice person. She certainly is not the “good woman” she claims to be.
As for communicating with her friends and family… I will do so when I need to communicate with them. It won’t be to harass or denigrate Ooma, but there might well be other valid reasons for me to communicate with them.
As for my friends and family communicating with her… I will neither encourage nor discourage them from communicating with Ooma. If she has a problem with them, she should deal with them.
I also have no intention of changing my behavior to avoid places that I know she frequents. That would include all of downtown Fort Myers. It is my city too.
If I were to say anything to Ooma – which I won’t, of course, since I have been asked so nicely to refrain from communicating with her – I would say that the best way to keep me from saying bad things about her is for her to stop doing bad things to me.
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