Smacked with the palm

The fallen frond

The fallen frond

The culprit palm

The culprit palm

No, not the palm of the hand; the royal palm.

This morning, while having my second cup of coffee, I was startled by a loud BANG! My first thought was that a bird flew into the side of the RV. But when I stepped out to look, I saw no dead bird. Or anything else near the side of the RV.

But… there, between the car and the truck, lay a large frond (branch?) from one of the royal palms near the sidewalk. I hoped that the noise was due to the frond dropping onto the truck’s tonneau cover which is pretty close to dent-proof. No such luck. A quick inspection of the car revealed a very noticeable dent in the roof. Better than a dent on the hood, I guess, because I don’t have to look at the roof while driving. But not good. I am considering whether to file a claim. Probably not as it is pretty minor. But I may get an estimate, just to know what I am dealing with.

The truck is heading north in 3 days. The palm couldn’t wait until then to shed?

The roof dent

The roof dent

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Prepping for the schlepping

Shelving unit

Shelving unit

We are 12 days away from the start of the Fifth Trip North (TN5). I have abandoned all hope of getting more work done on the shed – including getting the air conditioner installed – but still have a long list of tasks to be completed before we go. I have already done some of the work:

  • Dropped off our clothing donations at Goodwill.
  • Made a final trip to Costco to return some items and to get a few new ones.
  • Turned in our Florida Lottery scratch ticket “winnings.” That $40 will get us… about 100 miles.
  • Got some cigarettes to keep Jett calm.
  • Painted the shed door.
  • Installed a shelf in the shed and got shed items stashed away on it. Neatness counts.
  • Got the modem and router moved to the shed.

This last item was more difficult than it should have been.  While the electrician ran the cable line to the shed, he didn’t install connectors on either end.  My first two attempts to add the connectors failed miserably.  But my third attempt – using screw-on connectors – was successful.

Even though the air conditioner won’t be installed before we leave, I intend to start it up and get it to communicate with the router.  Then, if we get the contractor to install it while we are away, I will be able to control it remotely.

There is still much to be done.  Besides prepping the air conditioner, I also need to talk to both the contractor about doing the work while we are away and coordinating the electrical inspection with the electrician.  Then I need to stash away anything that we intend to leave behind – most notably the fiberglass steps.

There is work to be done to ready the Corolla for the trip north, too.  Mostly it is cleaning the car and removing stuff we want to leave behind, but I also need to swap GPS units with the truck, leave driving authorization for brother-in-law Ray and put the EZPass unit in the car – useful for tolls in New England.

The truck is ready but still needs to be loaded up.  The grill, the lawn chairs, the RV wheel covers, the 5-gallon reserve can of diesel fuel and the toolbox.  And tire pressures need to be tested and adjusted on both the truck and the RV.

Then hitch up, point the truck north and go. And keep our fingers crossed that, unlike our previous trips north and south, this one will be disaster-free.

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Flowering palms

Banana-like seed pods

Banana-like seed pods

I was doing some site cleanup yesterday – removing dead fronds from our palm shrubs – and noticed that they are all “flowering”.  Not that a palm produces flowers, but they all go through a reproductive phase.  Some had pollen-covered “antlers” growing from their stems.  But one had pods of what looked like bananas, split open to reveal thousands of little white pearls.  Seeds?  Don’t know, but maybe I will research it.

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Playing out the string

The park is about half empty now.  All activities have ceased.  The weather is hot and humid.  It seems like we are just waiting until we leave.  In sports terms, we are “playing out the string” – not accomplishing anything other than passing time.

This feeling is supported by the lack of progress on the shed.  The expectation that the electrical work would be inspected days after being completed has turned into a month-long waiting game.  As I cannot proceed with the other work – most notably getting the air conditioner installed – I have been limited to doing things in preparation for a time when I can make real progress.  I have completed the skirt on 2 of the 4 sides, but have to leave the other sides open for the plumbing work.  I have purchased the air conditioner, the utility sink and the flooring, but can’t install any of them until the electrical work is signed off.  I will likely get some shelving because it is now apparent that nothing else will get done before we leave and I may as well get all the stuff neatly stored for the summer.

This is all pretty disappointing.  I suppose I shouldn’t blame the electrician as he doesn’t control the inspector’s schedule, but doubts are creeping in.  Did he actually pull a permit?

In any case I need to decide how to handle the possibility that the inspection will not be completed before I leave.  It has to be done, then, while we are away (there is a 6-month deadline for completion of the permit).  Who do I trust with a key?  How do I make arrangements for the electrician to enter the shed?

These are problems that I didn’t expect.  And don’t enjoy dealing with them.  But they do give me some focus while playing out the string.

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“Running Blind” by Lee Child

Copyright 2000 by Lee Child. Published by Berkley, New York.

Yes, another Jack Reacher book.  I always expect to be entertained and I am never disappointed.

Some of the Reacher books are set during the time when he is in the army, but most are set post-Army when he is an aimless drifter.  This one is in between: he is out of the army, but he has inherited a house and, at least temporarily, has a permanent address.  He doesn’t know how to deal with that situation and it won’t last, but for the duration of this book he has both a house and an SUV.  His internal conflict with this (to him) unnatural situation is a subplot in this book, but it is pretty obvious that it will be resolved shortly and he will, once again, be shiftless.

He also has a girlfriend and this might be a little more permanent.  Jodie appears to be the love of his life.  But her life goals conflict deeply with his and, though he clearly cares for her, the attachment will not be sufficient to root him.  This subplot resolves itself rather neatly by Jodie becoming a partner in her law firm and being sent to London for 2 years.  Problem solved.

So much for the subplots.  The main plot centers on a serial killer.  Someone is killing women who, while in the army, accused men of sexual harassment or worse.  The FBI is on the case and their top profiler has identified the characteristics of the man they are looking for and, wouldn’t you know, his profile looks a lot like Jack Reacher.  The first two women, in fact, knew Reacher because he was the investigator assigned to their cases when he as still an MP.  The FBI haul Reacher in for questioning.  But his status as “prime suspect” is short-lived as a third woman is killed while he is in custody.  Rather than just letting him go, however, the FBI decides that he might be a useful addition to the investigative team.  Reacher is not interested but is coerced into participating.

The murders themselves are bizarre.  The women are all found in bathtubs filled with army-issue green paint.  There is no obvious cause of death and no sign of a struggle, no sign of forced entry.  The women apparently let the murderer in and then, quietly and without complaint, strip naked, sit in the bathtub filled with paint and just die.  Figuring out the “how” and “why” is what makes this story interesting.

Reacher figures it out, of course.  And so did I, mostly.  I was pretty sure I knew who the killer was halfway through the book, but Child fooled me with some deft misdirection and convinced me that I was wrong.  But I wasn’t.  But I can’t claim that I figured out the “how” though in retrospect I should have.

This book, more than most of the Reacher books, is a classic whodunit.  Like all Reacher books, it is a quick read.  I had a hard time putting it down.

8 out of 10.  I would have given it a 9 if I hadn’t figured out whodunit halfway through the book.

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“Almost Killed by a Train of Thought” by David Benjamin

Last Kid Books, April 2019

This is a collection of essays. That, alone, makes this book unique among the books that I have reviewed. It is also written by a guy I know very well – a good friend who goes way back – he was my best friend in high school.

So this will be my first book review that might actually be read by the author.  Oh, the pressure!

I guess I can eliminate the suspense for him – and you – by saying right up front that I liked the book very much. I will go into some of the reasons why, but the big one is this: it made me laugh.  Not just chuckle laughs but LOLs. Some of these essays are just hilarious.  But others are thought-provoking, insightful or sad.  They are all different.  The book is like Forrest’s box of chocolates; you just never know what you are going to get.

Some of this variety is geographical.  The author, who, as you will discover by reading the book (some of which is autobiographical), had humble beginnings but has lived in Paris, Japan, Brooklyn, Boston, California and Wisconsin.  He has also visited Las Vegas many times and, because his wife is an expert on cutting-edge electronics, he knows quite a bit about electronic gizmos, too.  Essays from each place are included.

Some of the variety is temporal.  The essays were penned between 1994 and 2016.  Some of the essays delve into the topics of the time.  The Iraq War, the financial meltdown, the death of Annette Funicello.  But some of the essays are timeless.  His grandfather’s hands, Paris in the early morning, linden tree helicopters, Yankee fandom.

Because I know him and shared part of his past, the autobiographical essays are particularly meaningful to me.  Growing up in Tomah, Saturday matinees, high school friends, his less-than-heroic father.  Poignant, even if you don’t know the places or the people.

David Benjamin is a wordsmith which in my view ranks a bit higher than “author.”  He knows the English language intimately (and shows off his knowledge in one of his essay rants).  He has a huge vocabulary and if you want to understand every word you had better have a dictionary handy.  Looking up all the unfamiliar words could be tedious, but it will be rewarding.

Some of the essays are whimsical and I think I like these best.  Several essays feature his outrageous “idea man,” Wilhelm Bienfang, a guy who would make Jonathan Swift proud. One essay is a satirical piece about a cell phone app that serves as spermicide – it emits a high-pitched sperm-killing squeal when it hears the words “Oh God! Oh God!”  The next essay delves into just how many people took that essay seriously and tried to buy the app. Hilarious.

Because they are essays they are short – about 1,000 words each.  I like that, too.  If you don’t like a particular essay, just turn the page.  I turned them all and felt a bit sad when I turned the last one.

9 out of 10.

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Skirt! (a start, anyway)

Skirt on the front of the shed

Skirt on the front of the shed

A finishing touch on our shed (which is far from finished) is putting a “skirt” around the bottom to hide the underside ugliness. It is strictly cosmetic and not vital in any way, but it is also pretty simple and the idea of paying a guy $580 to do it (that was the quote I got) didn’t appeal to me very much. I really wanted to do it myself.

The hardest part was figuring out where to get the materials. I needed about 50 s.f. of soffit material and about 90 feet of “J-channel” edging. But it had to match the beige color of the siding. I happened across a guy installing his skirt and asked him where he got his materials. The answer: 84 Lumber. So I ran down to 84 Lumber and ordered what I needed. The color was “Khaki”. I had to drive a mile to the warehouse, but within an hour had everything I needed for under $100.

Yesterday, lacking anything more important to do, I took a stab at installing the front skirting. I have to leave two sides open until the plumbing is done, but the front skirting was my “proof of concept” – my chance to convince myself that I knew how to do it. The tricky part was leaving a portion of the J-channel free so I could slip the soffit sections in, then finding a way to secure the J-channel when the soffit was in place. I found a way. The first half took about 2.5 hours but I learned from my mistakes and was able to complete the second half in just 1.5 hours. I guess I am still trainable.

Looks pretty darn good, I think.

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“Tick Tock” by James Patterson and Michael Ledwidge

Copyright 2011 by James Patterson, Grand Central Publishing

I NEVER read books of the famous-author-and-some-nobody variety because you know damn well that the book was written by the nobody and the famous author is just getting paid to put his name on the book.  So I don’t know how this one slipped into my “to be read” pile.

But since it was there I decided to read it anyway.  I still have the same opinion of books of this type and I will continue to avoid them in the future, but I have to admit that I enjoyed this one.  It isn’t an American literary classic, but it is well written with interesting characters.  And the chapters are very short – an average of just over three pages – which I really like.  The edition I had also had very large print which meant I could read it without reading glasses.  I liked that, too.

The protagonist is Michael Bennett, a NYPD detective who lands the unenviable task of catching a serial killer who is mimicking or paying tribute to some of the most notorious serial killers in New York City’s long illustrious history of murder.  He has to try to catch the culprit while on vacation on Long Island with his 10 adopted children and their young siren of a nanny.

He succeeds, of course, but it is due more to the killer finding him than him finding the killer.

The style of the book was intriguing.  About two-thirds of the book is first person, from the eyes of Michael Bennett.  The other third is third-person, giving us insight into the life and evil intent of the killer.  There is a little misdirection in this that I won’t divulge as it would spoil the fun,  but as a literary device it works pretty well.

I enjoyed the book.  I won’t go out of my way looking for more by the Patterson/Ledwidge duo, but this was not a waste of time.

7 out of 10.

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The cost of climate control

Shrimp and mahi bowl

Shrimp and mahi bowl

No, I am not talking about fixing global warming; I refer to the cost of getting heat and air conditioning in my truck. If you recall, the blower failed – with the mode of failure being that it wouldn’t shut off – in Tennessee on our way south for the winter. I have been driving the truck with no heat (not a problem), air conditioning (a bit of a problem) or defroster (a real problem on cold/damp days) since then. There have been a few cool mornings when I have had to drive with the windows open to keep the windshield from fogging up.

I had almost forgotten, but prior to the blower failure I had experienced another problem: the heat/cool controls worked only on the passenger side. This was, I thought, a relatively minor problem as enough air passed through the passenger side to heat/cool the entire cab. But I mentioned that peculiarity when I took the truck into the dealer yesterday.

I had some hope that the problem(s) could be fixed for under $500. It had been suggested to me that the truck needed a “module” to fix the blower problem. And if that had been the fix for both problems I would have just about made it as the “module” (which I think included replacing the blower itself) cost about $600 installed. But the passenger/driver control was a separate issue and that cost another $400 to fix. So about $1000 to get my climate control fully functional again.

I know that the cost is always higher at the dealership and now that I am a resident of Fort Myers I should try to find a reliable independent mechanic to work on my truck, which seems to need regular repairs. But finding diesel mechanics is difficult.

Maybe get a new truck? Relying on one that is 15 years old is a risky proposition. So while waiting for the repairs yesterday I looked around the lot and saw a very nice 2016 GMS 3500 diesel dually with under 30,000 miles. Cost? Just $59,000.

Ouch. I may have to try squeezing a couple more years out of my beast.

C’mon, baby, you can do it. But please, please, please, do it inexpensively.

The upside of getting the truck fixed was that I could wait for it at the adjacent Bahama Breeze restaurant. It was a bit coolish on the patio but the shrimp and mahi combo bowl was delicious and the margarita almost made me forget the money that was being poured into my truck next door.

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Lights!

Shed lights

Shed lights

The shed was given electricity last week and, shortly thereafter, acquired lights as well – two shop lights which gave off a surprising amount of illumination.  We will have plenty of light by which to do laundry, even at night.

The electricity was provided by an electrician, all properly permitted and inspected.  I installed the LED lights which were plug-ins and required no special talent beyond the ability to drill holes and screw in eyebolts.

The electrical wiring has 7 circuits: hot water heater (30A), dryer (30A), washer, air conditioner, interior outlets (5 of ’em), exterior outlets (2) and interior lights.

Next up: installation of the air conditioner, insulation and plumbing.  I am hiring a contractor to do that work.  When completed I will install paneling and flooring.  Then, finally, we will be ready to install a washer, dryer and sink.  That likely won’t happen until next fall. My goal, before leaving to head north, is to get the insulation installed and the air conditioner working.

I purchased a “smart” air conditioner – one which I can monitor and control from my cell phone.  That will be pretty cool.

If it works.

 

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