The best one-word summary for our first transatlantic cruise (TC1) is “disaster.” Of the 16 ports on the itinerary, I saw 4 and Jett saw 2. I saw none of the ports that were the real attractions of the trip: Livorno (Florence), Civitavecchia (Rome), Naples, Dubrovnik and Venice. And while the transatlantic portion was mostly smooth and enjoyable, Jett’s low energy levels kept us away from the evening shows. The big on-board activities for us were watching TV (yes, we binge-watched the entire Downton Abbey series again) and, for me, jigsaw puzzling. Fun activities, but not what I had in mind for a transatlantic cruise.

We did meet some interesting people. I have no expectation that they will see this as I neglected to give them any kind of contact information when I left the ship, but I want to thank our dinner tablemates for providing some of the best times we had on board. And the people we met in the smoking area were all interesting in their own ways.

The ports I visited – Funchal, Madeira (with Jett), Lisbon, Malaga and Cartagena (with Jett) – were all very nice. I would say that they all exceeded my expectations, largely because I had none. As I said before, these were not the expected highlights of the trip so I did not research them much. All were clean, colorful and full of beautiful old buildings or ruins. I learned quite a bit about each and wouldn’t mind returning to them all.

One of the positive aspects of Jett’s hospitalization (stay with me folks, I am grasping here) was an extended stay in Cartagena, Spain. I don’t know what I would have done with the planned short day there (the ship left at 1 pm), but it probably would have been just a quick walk up to the castle at the top of the hill near the cruise terminal. Maybe a visit to the Roman Theater. But because we stayed 5 days I was able to see much more. And learn much more. This is a great city for learning about ancient history.

Other positives? The flight home and the surprising benefits of trip insurance. The flight home – described in my previous post – was an unexpected (and much-needed) joy and the trip insurance provided benefits that I had not anticipated, most notably our intrepid travel nurse Tish. Her presence made the last day of the journey so much easier and for that we are grateful.

The negative? Illness. Jett is seriously ill and while the treatment she got in Spain was effective it was not a cure. We will need to do further tests and, hopefully, arrive at a long-term solution. But while departing the cruise when we did was deeply disappointing (Jett shed a lot of tears), it may have saved her life. The doctors both on the ship and in Cartagena could not understand how she could still be standing and functioning with her hemoglobin so low.

If there is a lesson to be learned from all of this (besides to check your hemoglobin level regularly) it is this: buy the best trip insurance available. Two levels – gold and platinum – were offered and the difference in price was not huge – a few hundred dollars. I remember, when choosing between the two, focusing on the relative benefits of cancellation prior to embarking – gold provided about 50% reimbursement and platinum 80%. For a trip as pricey as this one, that difference alone made platinum worthwhile. And, at the time, with Jett not feeling very well, I figured that the real risk was not going at all. I thought that once we embarked we would complete the journey.

Well, our trip was interrupted and I can tell you that from the moment we got off the ship to the time we got safely back home, I thanked my lucky stars many times for choosing the platinum plan. Consider that the medical costs – about $5,000 – were covered in full. The airline fares home – business class for Jett, which were over $11,000 for her ticket alone – were also covered in full. So far the benefits of the travel insurance are probably pushing $20,000 for us and Tish probably added another $20,000 to the costs for the insurance company. I haven’t filed the claim yet for all of the other expenses – hotel, meals, taxis – and the cost of the unused portion of the cruise itself. The total cost to the insurance company may exceed $50,000.

The decision to take the platinum trip insurance proved to be one of my best ever.

As American Express would say… don’t leave home without it.

Day 21 (Monday) – the day of our extraction from our forced exile in Cartagena, Spain.

Nothing against you, Cartagena, but it felt good to leave you behind.

Tish checking us in at Valencia

The extraction began with a 3-hour auto trip to the airport in Valencia. The van and the driver were arranged by Tish, our travel nurse/angel. They arrived at our hotel right on time at 1 am. I thought the trip would be quiet and I would nap, but I underestimated the loquaciousness of Tish and Jett. And, yes, I joined in from time to time. So the trip went very quickly.

Tish handled all the check-in details and checked our 4 bags through to Miami. She tried – and failed – to get an upgrade for me, but I credit her with the attempt. So I sat in economy while they sat in business. The fact that Jett was in a wheelchair got us priority boarding. I was in a row with just 2 seats and no one sat in the other seat, so I had plenty of space for the nearly 3-hour trip to Frankfurt.

Jett had to walk down 16 steps when we arrived at Frankfurt and despite being assisted into the little bus that they had waiting for us (and only us), she nearly fell. Close call.

The bus dropped us off at a special needs office which turned out to be at the wrong end of this huge airport. When we got a wheelchair and pusher we had only an hour to boarding. Still, we thought we would have plenty of time to get to the VIP lounge for their legendary fresh German pretzels. But we didn’t count on the customs snafu.

FYI: Make sure your passport get stamped when you enter an EU country. We entered, unexpectedly, when we departed the ship at Cartagena. The customs guy there – in an office the size of a telephone booth – was more concerned about getting rid of my excess cigarettes than in stamping our passports. Result: when we got to Frankfurt and went through customs there on our way out of the EU there was no stamp. Which immediately got us the attention of the police. They asked us, over and over again, why there was no stamp. And I said, over and over again, because the customs guy in Cartagena didn’t give us one. The police mulled this for a while, as the clock ticked down to our departure. Finally they gave us our passports and let us through, saying “You were never in Europe.” Like if anyone stopped us before getting on the plane we could just say “we aren’t really here.” But I count it as a victory as they could have easily kept us until they got some kind of confirmation from Cartagena that we were telling the truth. Which would have cost us at least another day. So Thank You, Frankfurt polizei!

A320-800

The rest of the trip was very long – 9.5 hours to Miami – but surprisingly pleasant and very interesting. Our plane was an A320-800 and the airline was Lufthansa. Incredible plane – two decks of seating – run by an airline with legendary service. It was a pleasure from start to finish.

Again, I was separated from Tish and Jett, who flew business class. I flew in “premium economy class” which is, of course, an oxymoron. But it was, hands down, the finest “economy” seating that I have ever had. Big seats, free headphones (very comfortable, very fine quality), complimentary blanket, pillow and a video entertainment system unlike any I have ever seen. I had a choice of hundreds of movies, live shows, sports, documentaries… many other categories that I never got to. And video games. All free.

And the food and snacks. Lunch served first, then dinner before we landed. Each with a choice of chicken or vegetarian (Jett had beef in business class). Free wine, soft drinks, mixed drinks, beer – you name it, they had it. Free. Glassware, real silverware, cloth napkin. The food was delicious and very filling. Between meals the attendants came by at least 4 times offering orange juice or water. This is in addition to the free bottle of water that was at the seat when I arrived.

I did not want for anything other than sleep. I really intended to nap, but started watching Star Wars – The Last Jedi (not great, but I feel like I checked a box on my “cultural necessities” list), then started on The Shape of Water. That was more enjoyable, but is admittedly a weird movie. I may have napped briefly then before launching into Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri, which I think was the best of the three. Complex characters, great acting, kept my attention.

Then I played some video games and before I knew it we were landing in Miami. A quick disembarkation, a speedy trip through customs, a ride by van (again, arranged by Tish) to the hotel where the truck was waiting, some quick goodbyes and we were off to Naples.

With a stop at Burger King. Had to get a Whopper.

Two hours later we were at our RV which was waiting quietly for us. It took a few moments to get it all back in operating order (I had detached the water and pulled in the slides), but Jett was soon napping. I was in bed by 9 pm (3 am body time) – 26 hours after leaving Cartagena.

And so our aborted “dream cruise” ended – not with a bang but a very tired whimper. And a Whopper.